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U.S. manship Foreign Travel Department
by Stephen Potter
· EDITOR'S NOTE: Mr. Potter of London is the distinguished author of Gamesmanship (The Art of Winning Games Without Actually Cheating) and of Lifemanship, in which the spirit of Games; manship is extended to the whole field of living, with a view to enabling the adept Lifeman to remain "one up" on his friends and acquaintances. This he does through a constantly multiplying number of gambits or "ploys" of an amazing variety, as suggested in this latest paper from the Lifemanship headquarters at Station Road, Yeovil.
General Rules-The basic gambit for all Lifemen, of course, is to praise. And the basic, because slightly annoying, thing for U.S.men to praise in Britain is its charm. This is sometimes called "Cliffs of Dovership." It can be done with most effect if you praise the charm or quaintness of any of the following:
(a) Pseudo Tudor, such as Ye Olde Shakespeare Garage at Stratford-on-Avon, or the thatched telephone kiosk on the London-Oxford road, or some frightful old barn which has been casting a shadow over your host's garden for years, shortening the lawn tennis court by two feet, yet incapable of being pulled down, removed or destroyed for lack of money, labor and the necessary pulling-down local government license.
(b) Some bits of condemned and muddy farm land with neglected copse and untended streams, which local residents are particularly ashamed of.
(c) Something which the British don't think charming at all but on the contrary particularly up-to-date and mechanized and modern, i.e., stand in front of the new London University building, one of the highest in London, and "love it because it's quaint." Watch one of our most renowned and actually streamlined engines, the Bournemouth Queen or the Coronation Scot steaming out of Euston, and say "I've always wanted to see a steam engine again. Why, I remember when the Twentieth Century Limited used steam." Or ask to be taken on a tour of the largest British film studios, at Denham, and say (as if it were a doll's house) , "Why, it's got everything, cameras, lights, and here's a little carpenter's shop, too!"
Another good general ploy when in Britain is to take for granted absolute ignorance of anything American, and then be surprised, if not offended, if your British listener has not heard of some name of purely local interest; e.g., say "We have a magazine called the New Yorker" or "There are two President Roosevelts, you know." Then talk without any explanation but with a wealth of local detail about "Lausche in the days when he was Mayor of Cleveland" and take it for granted that your Britisher will not only be interested but informed.
There is a decidedly irritating way of "being amused," very difficult to acquire, yet practised by many a successful U.S.man. He will suggest to his British friend that he Britishly thinks of American history as beginning with George Washington and the cherry tree, leaping straight to the Boston Tea Party, jumping thence to Uncle Tom's Cabin via American Indians being shot down one by one as they circle round Gary Cooper, and a band of early settlers who succeeded in preserving America for Rockefeller, Al Capone and Lindbergh. This friendly teasing is irritating because it includes and subtends the basic gambit, "grain of truthship."
Behavior-In dress, be either (a) keenly American or (b) extremely English. But note to Bostonians: extreme Englishness is set off rather than spoilt if one Americanism creeps in: e.g., in day dress, do not show cuffs or (recommended American pronunciation inserted in perfect Bostonian English) retain the American "mus·tash" instead of the English "mstarsh"
It is slightly annoying to the English to be told that their English accent is "perfect" or "sweet" or "cute." It is also annoying to the English, who pride themselves on being able to imitate the American accent, to point out that in fact the accent they are trying to reproduce is a mixture of the dialects of six American states, all of which are fifteen degrees south of the Maine accent to which, from its wording and references, the imitation must belong.
Individual Ploys - A habit for which the English will be too polite to reprove you is that of bringing your own producer, effects department and gramophone girl when broadcasting at BBC.
It has definitely been proved to anyone if U.S.man says to Englishman, "I'm glad to see you've taken on television here, why, of course, you were right in on the start, weren't you?"
Remember (BBCmanship) that all the British can, will and must pitch into their BBC all the time, but that conversely no visitor to England may be allowed to criticize the BBC in the smallest detail. U.S.men desiring to create an awkward pause are safe, then, in slipping into some quite irrelevant conversation some such remark as this, "You know, you ought to have sponsored radio over here. More zing. More zip."
Cricket - U.S. visitors must of course go to Lord's, sacred shrine of cricket, in an attitude of gentlemanly respect and excited anticipation. If they find while watching the game that for the first twenty minutes absolutely nothing happens, they should not comment on the fact that absolutely nothing happens, but they should suddenly turn to their host and say, "You know, we have heard so much about Lord's in the States. Now I want you to analyze for me the wonderful atmosphere which they say pervades this place." After twenty minutes, if a batsman scores one run, it is coarse U.S.manship to say, "Gosh, Joe di Maggio would have known how to hit that one." Just say, "Gosh, that was a hit."
Make some reference, suggesting that you are trying hard, to W. G. Grace, England's greatest genius of cricket, but refer to him as "W. J. Grace."
Individual Ploys - When going to a British railway station, do not say anything about the relative miseries of these spots, but bring galoshes, blankets, air cushion, packet of sandwiches and your own coffee in a thermos, It is quite a good ploy in England to be seen constantly carrying about your own coffee in a thermos.
Conversely, or perhaps connected with this, it is rather a good thing, having arrived in Britain by air, to ignore Westminster Abbey, Parliament Square and the Tower of London when your host mumbles something about these places with vague pride, and say instead, "I can't wait to get to see Waterloo Sattion."
Carry with you any example of recent British article criticizing America, broadmindedly and genially agree with it, and praise the British for having given such a good example to the Americans of what the Americans ought to have done, For instance, take a recent Architectural Review attack on domestic architecture in the United States, read it out loud to your British friend while standing amidst the housing horrors of any suburb of any large British town or in any recently built village, and say, "Yes, you certainly have got a way with your domestic architecture which we can't touch over there,"
It is quite a good thing to read up on bits of local history and literary association, then ask your British guide and friend questions about it. Henry VII's Chapel in Westminster Abbey makes a good background for such knowledgeable questions. Or Dove Cottage, home of Wordsworth in the Lakes, with special reference to Coleridge's visits there. In both cases, of course, it is a thousand to one that your British host will be unable to conceal his almost complete ignorance of the facts involved.
Manglo-Relations your British friends fail to be put off or made to feel slightly awkward by these delicate gambits, and mutual friendliness and goodwill insist on breaking through, it is always possible to fall back on Anglo-American relations. We at Yeovil are at present formalizing this splendid instrument of general, disease gambits, counter gambits and the, one-up one-down atmosphere. We are rather proud of our name for it, which has been formed syncretically from the two terms "Anglo-American relations" and "mangled feelings." The natural friendliness, recognition of a home away from home, the geniality and mutual admiration which exist between the two nations, can always be frustrated by anyone who talks about relations, It can be brought in directly, or insidiously, by such phrases as, "The British are our best friends" or "The freedom of the world depends on America and England keeping in close touch, pooling common knowledge and working eye to eye." Whatever phrase you use, the Manglo-Relations Department can always be guaranteed to put temporarily out of joint the firmest and most lasting friendship in the world. >>>>
by Stephen Potter
· EDITOR'S NOTE: Mr. Potter of London is the distinguished author of Gamesmanship (The Art of Winning Games Without Actually Cheating) and of Lifemanship, in which the spirit of Games; manship is extended to the whole field of living, with a view to enabling the adept Lifeman to remain "one up" on his friends and acquaintances. This he does through a constantly multiplying number of gambits or "ploys" of an amazing variety, as suggested in this latest paper from the Lifemanship headquarters at Station Road, Yeovil.
A note on how, when touring Britain, to appear to wish to be all square, while actually remaining one up.Introduction-I have been asked by the Ministry of Goodwill, in conjunction with the Office of American Enthusiasm, to say something of the work of the Foreign Travel department of our American branch of Games-Lifemanship. We all want American Lifemen to enjoy themselves over here and to retain their one-upness without appearing to try to do so. Here are a few suggestions.
General Rules-The basic gambit for all Lifemen, of course, is to praise. And the basic, because slightly annoying, thing for U.S.men to praise in Britain is its charm. This is sometimes called "Cliffs of Dovership." It can be done with most effect if you praise the charm or quaintness of any of the following:
(a) Pseudo Tudor, such as Ye Olde Shakespeare Garage at Stratford-on-Avon, or the thatched telephone kiosk on the London-Oxford road, or some frightful old barn which has been casting a shadow over your host's garden for years, shortening the lawn tennis court by two feet, yet incapable of being pulled down, removed or destroyed for lack of money, labor and the necessary pulling-down local government license.
(b) Some bits of condemned and muddy farm land with neglected copse and untended streams, which local residents are particularly ashamed of.
(c) Something which the British don't think charming at all but on the contrary particularly up-to-date and mechanized and modern, i.e., stand in front of the new London University building, one of the highest in London, and "love it because it's quaint." Watch one of our most renowned and actually streamlined engines, the Bournemouth Queen or the Coronation Scot steaming out of Euston, and say "I've always wanted to see a steam engine again. Why, I remember when the Twentieth Century Limited used steam." Or ask to be taken on a tour of the largest British film studios, at Denham, and say (as if it were a doll's house) , "Why, it's got everything, cameras, lights, and here's a little carpenter's shop, too!"
Another good general ploy when in Britain is to take for granted absolute ignorance of anything American, and then be surprised, if not offended, if your British listener has not heard of some name of purely local interest; e.g., say "We have a magazine called the New Yorker" or "There are two President Roosevelts, you know." Then talk without any explanation but with a wealth of local detail about "Lausche in the days when he was Mayor of Cleveland" and take it for granted that your Britisher will not only be interested but informed.
There is a decidedly irritating way of "being amused," very difficult to acquire, yet practised by many a successful U.S.man. He will suggest to his British friend that he Britishly thinks of American history as beginning with George Washington and the cherry tree, leaping straight to the Boston Tea Party, jumping thence to Uncle Tom's Cabin via American Indians being shot down one by one as they circle round Gary Cooper, and a band of early settlers who succeeded in preserving America for Rockefeller, Al Capone and Lindbergh. This friendly teasing is irritating because it includes and subtends the basic gambit, "grain of truthship."
Behavior-In dress, be either (a) keenly American or (b) extremely English. But note to Bostonians: extreme Englishness is set off rather than spoilt if one Americanism creeps in: e.g., in day dress, do not show cuffs or (recommended American pronunciation inserted in perfect Bostonian English) retain the American "mus·tash" instead of the English "mstarsh"
It is slightly annoying to the English to be told that their English accent is "perfect" or "sweet" or "cute." It is also annoying to the English, who pride themselves on being able to imitate the American accent, to point out that in fact the accent they are trying to reproduce is a mixture of the dialects of six American states, all of which are fifteen degrees south of the Maine accent to which, from its wording and references, the imitation must belong.
Individual Ploys - A habit for which the English will be too polite to reprove you is that of bringing your own producer, effects department and gramophone girl when broadcasting at BBC.
It has definitely been proved to anyone if U.S.man says to Englishman, "I'm glad to see you've taken on television here, why, of course, you were right in on the start, weren't you?"
Remember (BBCmanship) that all the British can, will and must pitch into their BBC all the time, but that conversely no visitor to England may be allowed to criticize the BBC in the smallest detail. U.S.men desiring to create an awkward pause are safe, then, in slipping into some quite irrelevant conversation some such remark as this, "You know, you ought to have sponsored radio over here. More zing. More zip."
Cricket - U.S. visitors must of course go to Lord's, sacred shrine of cricket, in an attitude of gentlemanly respect and excited anticipation. If they find while watching the game that for the first twenty minutes absolutely nothing happens, they should not comment on the fact that absolutely nothing happens, but they should suddenly turn to their host and say, "You know, we have heard so much about Lord's in the States. Now I want you to analyze for me the wonderful atmosphere which they say pervades this place." After twenty minutes, if a batsman scores one run, it is coarse U.S.manship to say, "Gosh, Joe di Maggio would have known how to hit that one." Just say, "Gosh, that was a hit."
Make some reference, suggesting that you are trying hard, to W. G. Grace, England's greatest genius of cricket, but refer to him as "W. J. Grace."
Individual Ploys - When going to a British railway station, do not say anything about the relative miseries of these spots, but bring galoshes, blankets, air cushion, packet of sandwiches and your own coffee in a thermos, It is quite a good ploy in England to be seen constantly carrying about your own coffee in a thermos.
Conversely, or perhaps connected with this, it is rather a good thing, having arrived in Britain by air, to ignore Westminster Abbey, Parliament Square and the Tower of London when your host mumbles something about these places with vague pride, and say instead, "I can't wait to get to see Waterloo Sattion."
Carry with you any example of recent British article criticizing America, broadmindedly and genially agree with it, and praise the British for having given such a good example to the Americans of what the Americans ought to have done, For instance, take a recent Architectural Review attack on domestic architecture in the United States, read it out loud to your British friend while standing amidst the housing horrors of any suburb of any large British town or in any recently built village, and say, "Yes, you certainly have got a way with your domestic architecture which we can't touch over there,"
It is quite a good thing to read up on bits of local history and literary association, then ask your British guide and friend questions about it. Henry VII's Chapel in Westminster Abbey makes a good background for such knowledgeable questions. Or Dove Cottage, home of Wordsworth in the Lakes, with special reference to Coleridge's visits there. In both cases, of course, it is a thousand to one that your British host will be unable to conceal his almost complete ignorance of the facts involved.
Manglo-Relations your British friends fail to be put off or made to feel slightly awkward by these delicate gambits, and mutual friendliness and goodwill insist on breaking through, it is always possible to fall back on Anglo-American relations. We at Yeovil are at present formalizing this splendid instrument of general, disease gambits, counter gambits and the, one-up one-down atmosphere. We are rather proud of our name for it, which has been formed syncretically from the two terms "Anglo-American relations" and "mangled feelings." The natural friendliness, recognition of a home away from home, the geniality and mutual admiration which exist between the two nations, can always be frustrated by anyone who talks about relations, It can be brought in directly, or insidiously, by such phrases as, "The British are our best friends" or "The freedom of the world depends on America and England keeping in close touch, pooling common knowledge and working eye to eye." Whatever phrase you use, the Manglo-Relations Department can always be guaranteed to put temporarily out of joint the firmest and most lasting friendship in the world. >>>>
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